drownin_in_red (drownin_in_red) wrote in heartonpaper,

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just some thoughts..

what am i sitting around waiting for? someone to feel sorry for me? but why? why should anyone feel sorry for me? im not worth other peoples' emotions. shit. im not even worth my own. how does a concept as simple as life turn out to be so goddamned complicated. and it only gets trickier along the way. and what are we in it for. pride? accomplisments? perhaps love? are we really here for any reason. human beings are the beginning and end of all things. clothing, cars, houses, buildings, ya know. all that man made shit. its all here because of us. we create that. we create that only for man to tear it down again. we are beasts of creation, destruction and affection. all things in which have no meaning whatsoever. yet we still give them some kind of significance. some kind of ranking or priority. as if they meant something. we need to make ourselves feel worth something. we always have to be better than the next. competition. competition for what exactly? to win the next race, to be skinnier, prettier than the last girl. who can hit the most homeruns in a season right? home-fuckin-runs. what the fuck does that mean to us?! mark mcguire, sami sosa? they are somehow better than "everyone else" because of how far and how many times they can hit a ball in one season of baseball. they get paid more than the teachers who teach the kids, our future, what they know. teachers are by far more important than some nit-wit who can hit a fucking ball. what makes a person better than someone else? and who gives them the right to decide? i never did quite understand that. and why do they feel the need to toy with peoples emotions to make them feel superior? domination. humans are always striving for control. the root of fear is simply the things we cannot control ourselves. if you do not have a firm hand over something then you feel little. you feel helpless. and people dont like this feeling. therefore they cowar at the feet of the dominant thing in control of the situation. either that or rise up and pretend to be the dominant one. that right there is pride. pride is a thing of ignorance. pride is a thing of stupidity and close mindedness. some people are too caught up in themselves to realize there are bigger and better things than themselves. and once they realize that. maybe they will notice the little people they stepped on. then what will matter to them? stupid material items. things in which have no value except for the value we place on it. the currency in which we live by. money IS everything in today's world. one would die with out it. life is not for the weak.
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